i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i think i have two assholes
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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