I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
