it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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