Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
