How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
