that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
