My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
vagina is talking i cant
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
