Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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