I'm pants shitting drunk right now
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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