if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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