what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
