I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
