Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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