Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
