I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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