no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
