I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He kissed a someone with a penis
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Randomize
