Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
this will be a night to untag.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
