I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why did my mother make you get naked?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
