what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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