Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
