Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
