I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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