Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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