You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish I only lived at night.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
