allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
