tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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