Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
