i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We are all done wearing pants today
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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