i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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