I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
