Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My feet surprised me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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