I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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