So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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