Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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