I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
What a dumb baby whore.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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