think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
