He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
