So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
ok first of all what the fuck
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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