Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
