Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
