thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
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