She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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