THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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