U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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