I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
