If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
