Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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