physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
