this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
