He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
